Tidy

I’ve been on a little bit of an organization kick lately. Jeremy is pleased with the outcome, but mildly annoyed with the process. A few days ago we were in the middle of cooking dinner when I thought it would be awesome to organize our spice cabinet alphabetically, then by frequency of use. I’ve also cleaned out every closet, every bin and every cupboard that we have in our home to rearrange, move and reorganize items. (I discovered that we had four humidifiers laying around our house – two of them identical to each other!)

Needless to say, Jeremy is not only perplexed by my orderly behavior, but is now completely dependent upon me to find almost anything that is tucked away neatly in any one of our multiple cupboards. Let’s just hope I’m around in the unfortunate event when he needs a spare roll of toilet paper in his bathroom. He has no clue where bath tissue and related sundry products fit into my new system.

Not may have given my family the gift of organization, but I’ve given myself a far greater gift – security. Jeremy will never leave me now. How could he? He won’t know where I stock the toilet paper. Or the season salt, for that matter.

The Superfreak is Super Dead

The other day Jeremy and I sat ourselves were perched on the sofa together watching television when a commercial featuring Rick James’ “Superfreak” suddenly came on. The following conversation is based on true events that went down not five seconds after the commercial aired.

Jeremy: Man, that Rick James is really doing pretty well for himself nowadays don’t you think?
Me: Huh?
Jeremy: Superfreak? You know. The guy with braids? He’s really made something of himself.
Me: Um, he’s dead.
Jeremy: (long pause)....Well, I guess he’s not doing as well as I thought.

I guess you really had to be there. To us it was hilarious. To Henry and Reese it was frightening. You see, after all the Rick James talk, Jeremy and I decided it would be fun to have ourselves a dance party to “Superfreak”. I’ve never seen our children’s eyes so wide with fright.

A Birthday Party You're Most Likely Not Invited to

My lovely friend Julee is turning, ahem, another year older soon. She asked me to design an invite that she could post on her facebook page and send out in an e-vite to her peeps. I just thought I'd give you all a sneak peek at the finished product.

Normally I charge clients a heafty fee, but for my close, close friends, I'll accept a heart-felt compliment. Julee told me I was pretty and that my hair wasn't nearly as distracting as it was the first time she met me. This is what she got....

Swum

According to Davis County, Utah, Henners successfully completed his Adolescent Aquatic Training: Level 2. According to me, Henry passed swimming lessons, plain and simple. He received the "Dare Devil" award at the end of the course. I assume this was due, in large part, to the fact that when it came time for the children to jump in the pool into the teacher's arms, Henry continually instructed her "BACK UP. I'M GOING TO JUMP REAL BIG ON YOU."

If I know Henry, and I'm pretty sure I do, this will not be the last time our little man warns someone to back up because he's about to jump real [sic] big on them.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is wrong with you?
My husband, Jeremy, asks me this almost daily. I am Jennifer. But people call me Jen…well, to my face anyway. Behind my back, I’m sure they call me much more colorful things. I am a wife, and a mother to two beautiful and loud children, Henry and Reese. I'm honored to live my life with them. We reside in Northern-ish Utah. (No, polygamy is not legal. Anymore.) We answer to two cats, two dogs and one fish named Master-P who reads my thoughts.

Why did you abandon your other site steenkybee.blogspot.com?
Abandoned is a harsh word, don't you think?

I'm sorry. Why did you create The Stained Glasses, when steenky bee was so kick ass?
Kick ass, you say? Why thank you. You're not so bad yourself.

Now about my other blog; Much like the lemon pie I made last night steenky bee sort of just became something different than I had originally envisioned it being. Does that ever happen to you? Instead of a comfortable place for me post my thoughts and pictures of the kiddos, it wound up being a pool of runny yellow goop. Just like the pie.

Um, can you please explain that again? The whole “pie” metaphor was lost on me.
Okay, but try to keep up this time. I'm not sure why I thought creating another blog was necessary. It totally wasn't. If I'm honest about it, I guess I wanted to have a more personal site to have as a scrapbook of sorts for my children and our family. And, it might just me, but was that big ass bee and bright green over at steenky bee visually assaulting to anyone else? It was getting on my last nerve.

But just so you know, I still plan on posting there every so often. Sometimes I miss the chick with the beehive perched atop her head.

I’ve seen several typos in your posts. What’s the deal?
Well, aren't we awfully judgmental? So I forget to use spelcheck. All the time. It happens.

What else should we know about you?
I love Utah. I hate being hot. I love the idea of musicals and often rehearse them in my head where ever I am. (5, 6, 7, 8!) I am comfortably into my thirties. I spill food down the front of my shirt. Always. I smile at strangers, but don't let my children talk to them. I will always hold the door open for you. No one ever tells Jeremy he got a catch when he found me, but they always tell me that about him. I am incapable of road rage. I am disgusted by public swimming pools. I can twirl a baton. I rarely believe anything I'm told.

If you’re not totally put off by me now, feel free to email me at {jenboglass [at] yahoo [dot] com}

About The Stained Glasses

Welcome to The Stained Glasses. Unless you are super lame, you're going to find my site absolutely awesome. I've listed below sort of a "cheat sheet" to help you better understand our family dynamic.

I'm Jen. I used to take naps but that hasn't happened in a long time. I get excited about everything. People sometimes call me "hooker", and by people, I mean everyone but my mom. I like nice people with mean streaks and strangers with free steaks. I will always smile at you and hold doors open for you, but I will hesitate to tell you that you've got a little schmutz on your face. I prefer not look at your feet until I've known you for at least two hours.

This is my husband and soul-mate, Jeremy. He's awesome, he's funny, he's much better than me. In this picture, I'm pretty sure he's praying for patience because, well, he lives with me so he needs it. This man can fix anything with duct tape. He enjoys having a trophy-wife (5th place only), the outdoors, yelling at the television and being awake at 3:00 am, if for nothing else, than to bring me a glass of water.

This is Henry and I'm fairly confident that this photo is the only known documentation of him in what scientists consider a "resting state". Henry prefers to be called Sancho or Henners. He enjoys talking out of turn, running in circles and making marks on our walls. He has an adorable, curious nature about him. I believe this is why he constantly asks, "Mommy, what's wrong with your hair?"

Reese is the baby of the family. We've taken to calling her Fiki or Reesafee while Henry prefers to call her Stoptouchingme. When our princess isn't cleaning (honestly, she loves to clean), she turns her sights to smelling our feet, dressing us in lightweight jackets or aggressively feeding us crackers. Should you ever have occassion to visit the Steenky family it's best that you leave your shoes at the door, be prepared to eat your weight in Ritz, and oh yeah, bring a parka.

You Should Stalk These People Online

Below is a list of people who I probably spend way too much time stalking online. It's an unhealthy addiction that I'm trying to (unsuccessfully) curtail. It's a process, people.

3 Bedroom Bungalow
A Girl and Her Life
Angry Chicken
Ann Again...and Again
Apathy Lounge
April's Little Family
Bee's Musings
(Bejewell)The Musical Fruit
Black Hockey Jesus
Blissfully Caffeinated
Boob Emancipation
Boondock Ramblings
Caroline Online
Cheaper Than Therapy
Chris Wood's Blog
(Church Punk Mom) My Embellished Truth
Cinnamon and Honey
Clark Kent's Lunchbox
coconut belly
Colepack
Crab Goggles
Design Mom
Dana's Brain
Dayton Time
For a Different Kind of Girl
Get the Stink Off
Gimme the Juice
(Green Jello) May You Lead an Interesting Life
Half as Good as You
Harry Jack's Mom
Home of the Lazy Dog
I Need a Martini Mom (Vodka Mom)
Irish Gumbo
Irregular Periodic Ruminations
Is There Any Mommy Out There (Anymommy)
It's a Dog's Life
Jeff & Me + Three
Jennster :o
(Jenny) The Bloggess
Jiggety Jigg (Jen)
Kaply, Inc.
King of the New York Hacks
Life and Times of a Wicked Stepmom
Literal Dan
(Maggie Dammit) Okay, Fine, Dammit!
Magpie
Me, You and Ellie
Miss Disgrace
Mommy's Escape
Morgan Madness
Muscrat
My Dogumentary
My A-Cup Runneth Over
My Life as I See It
My Life in a Nutshell
My Milkshake Thoughts
Notes From the Sleep Deprived
Notes From the Trailerhood
O Happy Day!
Oscarelli
Outnumbered Two to One
Pandoras Ethernet Connection
Papa TV
Pointlessly Hypertechnical
Pulsipher Predilections
Riding the Short Bus
Rock and Roll Mama
Sassy Mama Says
Sassy Secrets of a True Blue Desperate Houswife
Seriously Mama
Sherendipity
Shopgirl
Shout Daily
Simply AnyMom
Sprite's Keeper
Spyrou Family Chronicles
Sticky Fingers
Suburban Turmoil
The Bigger They Get
The Fife's Are Cool
The Fun House
The Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom
The Stiletto Mom
The Unmom (Keely)
The Wise Young Mommy
These Are the Days of Our Lives
Transition
Twenty-Four at Heart
Two Dogs Running (Mama Dawg)
Us and Them (Captain Dumbass)
Waffles Waffles All Day Long
Were Those Wrinkles There Yesterday?
Zip Bag of Bones